Kissing in the Rain
by gods sent angel
Summary: Sirius admits his feelings for remus in the rain. SxR slashiness, challenge fic for some contest or other. Oneshot


"I, for one, can't see how this could possibly get any worse," Remus grumbled. He sat huddled at the base of a large oak with his three friends for company in the middle of a park somewhere in muggle London. The tree's vast branches were doing little to keep the pouring rain off of them, but what little protection it offered was better than being out in the open right now. Sirius sneezed and Remus turned to grind him with a seething glower. It had been the rich bastard's idea to begin with, he reminded himself. Sirius didn't seem to notice the venom in his companion's gaze and smiled back happily.

"Padfoot, could you have been any more stupid?" James whined as he wrapped his cloak tighter around his shoulders. He, like Remus, was having trouble controlling himself and letting the idiot live. Peter seemed to be having enough trouble breathing properly without coughing and couldn't be bothered to join his friends in the hating of Sirius.

"You can go home if you want," Sirius said with a shrug. Now that they thought about it, Remus was the only one he had been adamant about as far as attendance. James had his suspicions, but he had dismissed them instantly upon conscious admission. Sirius was not, and never would be, gay.

"Could we?" Peter asked hopefully between racking coughs. He hadn't wanted to disappoint his friends by not coming, but he really was terribly sick. His mother had nearly chained him to his bed when she found out about the escapade Sirius had planned and he had barely managed to sneak out the window to accompany them. James looked ready to leave as well, so he figured it wasn't likely he would be leaving alone.

Sirius grinned and nodded emphatically. Peter almost felt blown off and James felt his suspicions creeping back. Neither wanted to stay, however, and both decided to take Sirius up on his offer before he changed his mind. They both stood and brushed themselves off, not that it helped any since they were drenched. As they were about to leave they heard their friend speak again.

"Hey," the lanky black haired teen bubbled, "take this to stay dry." He threw an expensive looking black lace parasol at them and laughed hysterically at their horrified and indignant expressions.

"Jackass!" James yelled, only half serious, and lugged it back at his cackling friend; missing by a good foot as it landed just beyond the tree. Peter was already moving away from the tree rapidly and James turned to catch up with him.

Remus watched his two friends leave. He wished he could have gone as well, but he had a feeling that Sirius wouldn't have let him. The buffoon probably would have kept all of them there to make it look as if he wasn't playing favorites, but Remus knew. He looked back to the only other occupant of the tree trunk and felt his curiosity pique as he watched his friends relax against the oak.

Sirius had seemed slightly tense ever since they had all gotten here, but now that James and Peter had left he seemed completely at ease. Maybe he had been wrong about Sirius wanting to keep him there and not the others. Perhaps it was the other way around; Sirius wanted him to leave and one of the others to stay. Remus had his suspicions about Sirius' feelings for James. Maybe he had been nervous with the boy close by and had finally snapped; all but asking the other boy to leave. But Sirius had been more adamant that the lycanthrope come along than any one else. Could Sirius want to ask him for advice?

He snapped out of his thoughts abruptly when he noticed Sirius staring at him. Concluding that Sirius did in fact want advice, probably on his feelings for James, Remus returned the look with veiled sympathy and overwhelming attentiveness. It hurt a little to think of James and Sirius as a couple, but if it was what Sirius wanted he would help in any way he could.

"Are you back with me?" Sirius teased. Remus rolled his eyes with a small huff.

"Yes," he replied.

"You think too much, Moony," Sirius complained jokingly.

"Well if you tried thinking every once in a while then I wouldn't have to do so much of it," Remus stated only half seriously. Sirius chuckled.

"But it suits you better," he said with a wink. He slid down the tree to lay on his side in the soaking root-stridden dirt and propped his chin in one hand. "So what were you thinking about?"

"Not much," the tawny haired boy lied. "Why? D'you wanna talk about something?" Sirius seemed to lose his cool for a second but soon regained it. He beamed up at Remus with a mouthful of pearly teeth and Remus couldn't help but grin a little in return.

"Sure," Sirius replied, moving to his back and scooting away from the tree a little to lay more comfortably in his new position. Remus assumed he would have to introduce a topic and opened his mouth to do so, but Sirius cut him off before he could get out the first syllable. "Why are people so superstitious?" he asked casually. Great, a hard question.

"If I knew that I'd fix it," Remus replied flatly. "Any particular superstition you were talking about?"

"Lycanthropy," Sirius answered just as carelessly as before. Remus held back a groan at the mention. Not a topic he wanted to get in to. Sirius was continuing his list, however, so he brought his attention back to his friend. "...Vampires too, and gay people." Remus hadn't expected that one. "I mean, why do people care?" Sirius ranted. Remus didn't answer. "Is it any of their business who other people snog? I didn't think so."

"Well," Remus stammered, trying to find his voice in the slew of thoughts coming from his friend. Since when had Sirius ever been able to think such deep thoughts? "People don't like lycanthropy and vampires and such because they're frightened of them. I mean, you were too before you found out about me."

Sirius seemed to buy this explanation and Remus was grateful. He didn't think he could come up with a better answer than that. He hoped that this would be enough for the black haired boy to change the topic, but apparently it wasn't as he continued on a much harder line of thought.

"What do you feel about gay people, Moony?" Sirius asked softly. The second boy was startled by his companion's tone, being one he had never heard or even dreamed he would hear coming from the ever confident young man. He sounded almost worried, frightened even. Of what, he wondered.

"I don't see anything wrong with it," he replied truthfully. "The way I look at it, love is love; no matter who with."

"Oh," Sirius remarked. Remus wasn't sure if it was a positive sound or a negative one. "Are you gay?" Remus snorted in surprise. Not what he was expecting.

"No, I'm not," he exclaimed rather indignantly. Sadly, he wasn't sure that was entirely true. He noted absently that Sirius looked a little disappointed as well.

"Oh," he stated again, a hint of sadness in his voice that Remus didn't miss. "Um," he continued, "well, can you keep a secret?" At Remus nod he continued.

"I am."

Remus blinked at him for lack of a better way to show his shock. Sirius, chick magnet of the millennia, was a queer? Somehow the thought refused to sink in. Part of him, some deep dark and psychic part, seemed to say it knew all along and was throwing the most ungodly massive party in his stomach. The other part of him was trying to run this new bit of information against all the other facts he knew about Sirius at a break neck speed, and it made his head spin.

"Don't tell James, ok?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded absently. Finally collecting his voice he asked the question that stood out the most.

"How come I couldn't tell?"

Sirius stared at him like he was a madman and he blushed furiously. That was not what he meant to say. "I'm sorry," he apologized quickly, "I meant 'how long have you known'."

"Um," Sirius paused, not sure what to think of his friend's odd action. "A few years, I guess."

"Oh," Remus felt very unintelligent suddenly. Was this the best conversation he could muster? He found that not only sad, but extremely pathetic as well. "So..." wow, he felt like an idiot. Think, Remus, think. "Do you like anybody?" ...You are such an idiot. Remus would have glared at his conscious, but he doubted it would see. Sirius seemed to also think this was odd, because he was currently looking at him like he had claimed to actually be the Easter Bunny.

"Yeah, I do," Sirius replied, still staring uncertainly at his friend.

"Who?"

"Honestly? You."

If he had felt stupid earlier, now he was in melt down. If a single brain cell was left in his skull it would surprise him. Casting about wildly for something to anchor him to reality he noted that the rain had stopped. Well, that was a starting point. Sirius was still staring at him with an odd expression, but he decided that he could deal with it if his mind would only come back long enough to remind him to breathe.

"I'm...I'm sorry," he stammered, not sure why those words came out of him, but happy that something had. "I...I mean, I'm not the best choice for...uh...anything. Other than homework. I can do homework." He was aware that he was ranting and tried to stop himself. Sirius managed to do it for him.

"Not the best choice?" he exclaimed. "Why not? It's not like there's anything wrong with you." Remus could only squeak out his answer.

"But...but my lycanthropy," he almost whimpered. It vaguely registered in his brain how utterly pathetic he was being, but he wasn't in his mind enough to do anything about it. Sirius was rolling to his stomach and Remus was afraid for a minute the other boy was getting up, possibly feeling dejected by his friend. That was most definitely not what Remus wanted to be coming across to his comrade. But Sirius didn't get up. He just lay on his stomach looking at Remus for a second before speaking.

"Why should that mean anything?" he asked. He pointed at the tawny haired boy with a slender finger, a look of trepidation. "Moony, have you lost your mind? That was the lamest excuse I have ever heard! What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" Remus squawked in surprise. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him unbelievingly. The sandy haired boy floundered a bit before rephrasing himself. "I mean, I don't know." He looked desperately to his black haired companion for direction. "What am I supposed to do now?" he asked. "This has never happened before. It's just weird."

"I thought you didn't have a problem with gay people," Sirius chided, uncertainty tinting his voice. Remus leveled a testy look at him.

"Not the gay part," he explained, "the getting hit on part. People just don't like me like they like you."

"That's not true," Sirius replied. "I like you." He eyed Remus warily for a minute then continued. "Maybe...maybe someday I'll love you, if you want. Or if you don't it might go away if I ignore it a little longer," he finished quickly. That caught Remus attention and brought his mind sharply into focus once more.

"A little longer?" he questioned in surprise. "How long have you liked me, anyway?" Sirius seemed to be almost embarrassed, but it slid quickly from his features.

"Since the end of second year," he admitted. "I guess I just got tired of ignoring it all the time. It's easier being open, y'know?" Remus nodded and looked distant as he contemplated this. Second year? Was this like James and Lily or was it something serious? Something that would last. His evil incarnate subconscious whispered softly to him that all he wanted was some one to love him forever. Not for a week or a month or a year or two. Forever. And even his conscious had to admit that was exactly what he wanted, regardless of the gender.

"Do you want to know a secret?" he asked before he realized what he was saying. Sirius was watching him attentively, waiting for him to continue. "I don't really have any sexual preference."

Sirius looked both taken aback and elated, an odd combination. Remus sat trying to figure out just where the hell that had come from. Sirius sat up and leaned forward tentatively, looking Remus in the eyes with an intensity that was both unnerving and comforting.

"Are you saying that for me," he asked assiduously, "or are you saying it because you mean it?"

"Because I mean it," Remus answered truthfully. He didn't know why or how, but he was sure it was true. Merlin only knew what secrets his subconscious kept locked away from his analyzing scrutiny. He brought his head closer to Sirius' but left an inch or two between them. "I'm not concerned with who, I guess," he admitted. Somewhere in his mind he hoped this made more sense to the boy in front of him than it did to himself. Otherwise they were both in for a confusing ride. "Just the what." Sirius furrowed his brow, clearly confused though his expression was a little difficult to see when one was so close up.

"What what?" Sirius asked curiously.

"Love," Remus replied, looking down to watch his fingers toy with his shirt tails. "The kind that really lasts. Like forever." He stopped for a moment and shook his head, though he didn't move away. "I'm sorry, I must sound terribly incoherent. And to think, I'm the intelligent one."

Sirius smiled gently and brought one hand up to rest on Remus cheek. At the contact the golden haired boy turned his face back to his companion's and let his gaze fall on loving eyes. They certainly didn't look like they would stop loving him, but looks could be deceiving.

"I can't say anything about forever," Sirius said. "I mean, no one can, right? But I have the last couple years under my belt, and I haven't been able to stop so far, even though I've tried everything I can think of." Remus smiled this time and a little bit of mischievous hope glimmered in the raven haired boy's eyes. "So can we try?" he offered hopefully.

"I guess," Remus nodded a little, the hand on his cheek moving with him. "But I fully intend on whooping your ass if you ever stop." Sirius laughed at this.

"How un-Remus like," he snickered, at the same time leaning in for a kiss, which was quickly reciprocated. Neither was on any sort of sure footed ground, so the kiss didn't progress much farther than a elongated peck on the lips; but it felt like heaven all the same. Well, maybe not heaven, but it definitely felt good. Breaking apart after a relatively short time - especially when considering some of the inhumanly long snogs they had been forced to witness in the halls of Hogwarts - both boys felt very much alive and unbelievably happy.

"So what are we going to tell James and Peter?" Remus asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

"I dunno," Sirius shrugged. "I'll leave that to you, oh intelligent one. But we don't have to tell them anything, y'know." Remus nodded thoughtfully. They had time, he supposed. But now he wanted it to just be them until they sorted it all out, honestly.

Sighing he stood and stretched. Sirius did the same and headed toward the entrance to the park, turning to wait for Remus as he reached the edge of the tree.

"We should get home," he said, smiling like an idiot. Not that it was anything new.

"Yeah," Remus agreed with a small yawn. "See you tomorrow, then." Sirius grinning ferally.

"Tomorrow, then," he repeated and left. Remus turned down the street in a different direction and shook his head. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. It was too late now, though. He had a feeling tomorrow would be very interesting.


End file.
